You may have been looking for Satan, Sarah Palin has been successfully disposed of.
Sarah Palin (born February 11, 1964 under the full name Sarah Moosejaw Oil fetish Heath), was the RWB (Right Wing Bitch) ) is a reality-TV star, former half-term Governor of
Alaska and a prime example of how well abstinence education
works doesn’t work. She was the youngest Governor in Alaskan history and the first to be born after Alaskan statehood. On August 29th, 2008 presidential candidate John McCain selected her to be his running-mate (the Geezer and Gidgit ticket), despite the fact that she didn’t really know what a vice president does. She supports teaching creationism alongside evolution in biology classrooms, and came prepackaged with scandal.
In addition, her unmarried 17-year-old daughter was pregnant, seemingly only to add more problems to her already stressful VP campaign.
But it all added to the spin fun.
Despite complaining on the campaign trail that her family struggles to pay the bills, as well as claiming to be “an everyday, working-class American,” it was reported during the campaign that the Palins are worth at least $1.2 million, and own a plane, a half million dollar lakefront home, and two holiday get-aways.
Through some sick cosmic joke, Sarah Palin’s genealogy reveals that she is distantly related to both Princess Diana and Franklin D. Roosevelt.
But until 7AM on an August morning in 2008, few people in the other 49 states knew who she was…or cared to know. On August 29, 2008 Senator John McCain named her nominee for United States Vice President also for no apparent reason and validating the fact that McCain had indeed gone completely senile.
She hails from Wasilla, Alaska, and is a former beauty pageant queen who dropped out of four other colleges before finally graduating from the University of Idaho with a degree in journalism.
As governor of Alaska she fired her ex brother in law, and got her husband a job as an executive with the BP company.
She collaborated with Ted Stevens over a controversial pipeline that did some trouble to Canadian first nations.
Later, she tried to cover that up.
She even tried to persuade the Bush administration to remove polar bears from the endangered species list to acquire more land space for oil drilling.
Fortunately, Americans had enough sense not to elect McCain or her so †hey lost badly.
She might run for president in 2012 with Joe The Plumber as a running mate.
There may be no Republican better than she is, which is saying a lot.
Palin made what look like two mistakes with her english then tried to say she was coining new words.
It’s just that it’s a bit early to think of Christmas presents but has anyone thought of buying that possible presidential candidate a really good dictionary?
This is commonly assumed to be an admission that Palin not only does not read any newspapers, but that, given her propensity for lying, she couldn’t even think of a newspaper.
Regardless, if ever given the opportunity to ask Sarah Palin a question, one should ask her thoughts on an editorial in The Yemen Times, as it’s a newspaper, and she reads all of them.
- Palin believes that
Ronald ReagantheSky Wizard created the world…6000 years ago..
- She believes in Abstinence Only-Ed and thinks sex should only happen after marriage, yet, she has a knocked-up daughter. (Well Abstinence education didn’t stop her daughter getting pregnant and it’s sad when teens like Bristol Palin don’t get the contraceptive education that they need.)
- Palin does maintain that abstinence is not 100% as shown by Sky Wizards son. It seems she opened her hotel door early in the morning wearing only a towel. Not exactly the best way to promote abstinence. But this hypocrisy should not be surprising; it is a trademark of the Republican party.
- She tells lies, although this is not surprising, either, considering that this is a common trait amongst conservative politicians. What is noteworthy is that she’s extraordinarily dumb, even for a creationist.
- It seems that Palin hasn’t got ’round to studying geography. Apparently, she didn’t even know that Africa is a continent, she thought it was all one country. While the Republican Party may be full of idiots, don’t they have someone who’s at least marginally more suitable as Vice-President? It looks like they don’t.
- She abused her power as governor in Alaska. She sacked Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan. She says he refused to sack Michael Wooten, a state law enforcement official, and Mr. Wooten was unsuitable for the job. Her opponents say this was a family dispute, because Mr. Wooten was involved in a bitter divorce action against Palin’s sister. Sensible people know that when something like that happens you get an impartial person to decide who should be sacked. Even sysops on wikis know that if they have a personal dispute and the other party seems to need a block you get an impartial admin to deal with it.
- Even the Republicans aren’t so heartless that they want to be allies with North Korea and dictator Kim Jong II, still Sarah Palin said they would be allies.
- For a simulation of a hypothetical McCain-Palin presidency, watch Evita.
- Her position on LGBT Rights is to “pray away the gay”…which explains her hair.
- I’ve no idea how she got her degree as I’m sure she wouldn’t have done anything naughty like bribing examiners or paying someone to write essays for her. Sarah’s such a good little girl.
Has little Sarah lost confidence in herself?
Why on Earth could she possibly think that she’s not up to her job.
Her resignation came shortly after many people filed ethics complants against Palin’s government.
Accountablity in government, and personal ethics in politics were ironically two main things she ran her campaign on in 2006 for Governor.
Gaffe-filled interviews were seized on by critics as reasons why she was not up to the job.
Comedians mocked her on prime time television and some members of her own party rounded on her
Can Palin give any guarantee that if elected as President or Vice President she won’t resign halfway through the term?
Palin’s oldest son Track is a high school drop out while her oldest daughter nearly dropped out after becoming pregnant at 17 years old.
Her husband is a slave of big oil and kills innocent animals for fun.
This is proof that stupidity is indeed genetic.
Despite her profound ignorance and alarming political views, most men regard her as a bit of a popsy and wouldn’t say no.
During Barack Obama’s push for health care reform, Palin mentioned some nonsense about killing people who weren’t fit for society as judged by the government.
Keith Olbermann has explained why the death panel idea is dangerously irresponsible.
Too little too late, too obvious. Madam (sarah Palin), you are a clear and present danger to the safety and security of this nation, Whether the “death panel” is something you dreamed, or something you dreamed-up, whether it is the product of a low intellect and fevered imagination, or the product of “high intelligence” and a sober ability to exploit people, you should be ashamed of yourself for having introduced it into the public discourse, and it should debar you, for all time, from any position of responsibility or trust in the governance of this nation or any of it’s fifty states. (Don’t take everything I say so seriously)
Despite numerous accusations of this statement being another one of her horrible lies, secret documents from the Obama Administration revealed Palin to be on those panels (along with Marco Rubio, Terri Schaivo, and Greg Giraldo), though her child with Down Syndrome was deemed to be fit enough to be pardoned from the death panels.
- Palin claims to be able to see Russia from her house (irrational belief/lie, just plain silly).
- Has an imaginary friend named Joe The Plumber Who many believe to be a real person named Samuel who in fact is not a plumber.
- Claimed to have read all magazines then was unable to name one she read (incredible lie!).
- Has similar thoughts and belief to George W. Bush.
- Has been involved in beauty pageants.
- She’s a Creationist.
- She thought she was speaking to the French President Nicholas Sarkozy during almost 6 minutes when it’s was a prank from 2 comedians from Montréal (did she also think Montréal was in France) (see video at YouTube Sarah Palin Got Pranked)
- Keeps referring to old ladies as “grizzly bears”
- Refers to female Republican candidates she supports as “Mama Grizzlys”
- Follows a crazy church (be AMAZED at Sarah Palin’s crazy church – documentary)
- Thinks that the War In Iraq was a task from God
- Asked her church to pray for a controversial pipeline
- Has a lot of criteria from the DSM-IV
- Faked the pregnancy of Trig Paxson Van Palin.
There’s even a book
Palin’s so crazy that a book titled “Blind Allegiance to Sarah Palin: A Memoir of Our Tumultuous Years,“ released on May 24, 2011, was authored by a former aide to her who is still a conservative, Frank Bailey and he wasn’t afraid to speak out against her after what he witnessed when he campaigned and worked for her when she was Governor of Alaska.
The co-authors of the book are two liberals, Ken Morris and Jeanne Devon.
This explosive, up-close view of Sarah Palin comes from an inner-circle confidant who shares surprising information about how Sarah dealt with staff and perceived “enemies,” and the discrepancy between what she said and what she did.
In July 2009, Palin announced her decision to retire from the governorship of Alaska, in order to take up community organizing to ready herself for a run for the Presidency in 2012 and begin a career as a Facebook blogger.
She later decided she wouldn’t run.
Was it a good idea?
“Aim low. Aim so low that you never get disappointed” — McCain campaign slogan regarding Sarah
As Barack Obama chose Joe Biden for his vice-presidential running mate due to his experience in foreign policy and the economy, and his attack-dog credentials, Senator McCain presumably chose Governor Palin in order to bring youth to the campaign, but this was apparently her only benefit.
Also, her touted environmentalist status was severely undercut by her support of oil-drilling in the Alaskan wilderness, making her either a hypocrite (possibly) or a liar (very likely).
And while Obama has only a few years of political experience under his belt, Palin had only been in government for twenty months, making her even less experienced than he, and causing the Republicans to lose their favorite criticism of Obama.
Furthermore if a hypothetical president McCain had died in office she would have had to take over as president, even though she would have been virtually unable to handle the responsibilities of that office.
She drew substantial criticism from staunch conservatives in Alaska for her perceived populist economic policies, including significantly raising taxes on oil production, subsidizing a new gas pipeline with public money, and advocating $1,200 energy supplements.
It remains to be seen how this will affect her standing with national conservatives in the long run.
Palin and the “new” feminism
If, during the election, one had read only Republican Party supporting blogs, one might have thought that women voters were flocking to Palin, as a woman who does away with the old feminist views, showing what can be achieved without affirmative action.
These people were wrong. The political rally “Alaska Women Reject Palin” was larger than the pro-Palin homecoming rally the week before.
Also no one could possibly support anyone who would charge a rape victim for the processing of the “crime scene” analysis known as the “rape kit.”
That was the policy in Wasilla when Palin was mayor and she did nothing to change the policy.
It also remains inconceivable to some True FeministsTM that a “feminist” can hold the position that women are legally, morally, ethically, intellectually equal to men while still saying that if raped, they must have the rapist’s child. That’s hardly an equality.
By bringing Trig into the world, chromosome problems and all, Sarah’s life speaks directly to women who have been told they must choose between having children and having success.
What she says is if you are successful and reasonably rich, you can demand that others make their “choices” in the way that you insist are the only “choice.”
After the election there was talk that Palin might be under consideration for important posts in the Republican Party in the future.
- Governor of one of the nation’s smallest states (by population) for under two years, and quitting right as the Great Recession hit (which would have resulted in unpopular tax increases and/or spending cuts).
- Two-term mayor of a town that:
- Squinting at Russia across the Bering Strait.
- A trip to Canada
- A stop over in
Éire, Ireland, that place with the green beer.
- A one year old passport.
- Spent over $40,000 on clothes from donated GOP money.
- Commander-in-Chief of Alaska’s National Guard. Except when they’re actually called to duty, when they answer to the Department of Defense, not to the governor (actually that statement’s not entirely true either, the governor commands the National Guard when called to duty for the state, during times of natural disaster for example.)
- Captain of Wasilla High School state champion basketball team
- Kills moose (squirrel mysteriously omitted from reportage)
- Will pay you to kill wolves from the air.
- Ignores books and whitepapers on important topics, in favor of text messages from her “Prayer Warriors”
- Reads every newspaper
- Although it appears that she has not been a member of the Alaskan Independence Party, her husband has been, and she did provide a recorded welcoming to an AIP convention.
- In what has become known as “Troopergate”, she came under investigation in Alaska for abuse of power in trying to get her ex-brother-in-law fired. In keeping with the then Bush administration’s policies, Gov. Palin and those connected with her refused to cooperate with the investigation and declined to respond to subpoenas while the Alaska Attorney General refused to enforce said subpoenas.
- Additionally, Republicans tried to have the investigation stopped on the grounds that it was a politically motivated attack on Palin, in spite of the fact that the investigation started before McCain had selected her for his running mate. In October she was found to have abused her power as Governor by the investigation, although the state legislators have no power to take formal action against Palin. However, the Alaska Personnel Board could yet decide to take legal action against Palin if they decide that she acted unlawfully; if so the case will be referred to the president of the state Senate.
- Though Palin is a staunch evangelical pro-lifer who advocates the “abstinence-only” program as a method of preventing teen pregnancies, her unmarried daughter became pregnant at 17. She is now using this information as political fodder for her VP campaign as a way of “connecting” to families with similar issues. She and the whole Rovian/Bushian/McCainian team have used this as her own “POW” call.
- Apparently, if you have a child who, via your own teachings, doesn’t live “up to snuff,” it’s not acceptable to discuss the child or the policies in public. It should also be noted that the “bluer” (i.e., more Democratic-voting) states have lower rates of teen pregnancy. But really, aren’t “all babies beautiful” – Unless you are John McCain speaking of Hilary Clinton’s daughter Chelsea, and saying how ugly she is?
- The National Enquirer says… (Aliens fed my baby to Elvis)
- Although she has not been a part of a socialist organization herself, her husband is a member of the United Steelworkers union. Labor unions are notorious for being liberal gangs opposed to a free market, using any way possible, legal, or illegal, to take what they want from their members, companies, and the government.
- The Los Angeles Times interviews a man who says of Palin: “She told me she felt the world would end and she would see Jesus in her lifetime.”
- In the not-so-much-ado-about-nothing, category, Ms. Palin inquired about the process for removing books from the town library (though it should be noted that the “list of books” currently circulating claiming she wanted them banned is a complete fabrication).
- Also in this category is the media getting punk’d by a bogus “leak” from a non-existent McCain staffer and think tank fellow. On Nov. 12, 2008, the New York Times reported:
“It was among the juicier post-election recriminations: Fox News Channel quoted an unnamed McCain campaign figure as saying that Sarah Palin did not know that Africa was a continent.
Who would say such a thing?
On Monday the answer popped up on a blog and popped out of the mouth of David Shuster, an MSNBC anchor. “Turns out it was Martin Eisenstadt, a McCain policy adviser, who has come forward today to identify himself as the source of the leaks,” Mr. Shuster said.
The TV clips of him on YouTube are fakes.
- She thinks Dino the Dinosaur really did live with early man, 6000 years ago, right after the earth was made – in, yes, in six days.
- She believes that the worst thing that Dick Cheney has ever done is shoot a friend of his during the infamous hunting accident, but to Cheney‘s credit, Palin totally thinks his friend had it coming for getting in the way of the gun.
- “Sarah Palin’s rejection of an invitation to speak at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in February 2010 is arousing widespread criticism.” Allegedly she charges $100,000 per appearance, and won’t turn up unless she’s paid her thirty pieces of silver.
- Palin did not report the construction of two new cabins on property she partially owns to the local government, and failed to report these new structures for tax purposes. “Palin’s attorney, Thomas Van Flein, claims it is not the responsibility of property owners to report structures they build on the land. Dunivan, however, said owners are required by state law to report any omissions or errors in their tax assessments.”
- During the Tea Party convention in February 2010, Palin required all questions for the Q&A with the audience after her talk to be pre-screened and pre-selected.
- On 12 January 2011, Palin issued a Facebook “blood libel” video statement, denying her Giffords-in-the-crosshairs attacks could be at fault in the shooting of congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, while claiming she (Sarah) was the real victim.
- “. . . where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Um, helping, oh — it’s got to be all about job creation too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So healthcare reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade, we’ve got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, um, scary thing, but 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We’ve got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that.” - Sarah Palin on the proposed bailout of the financial sector also first known SNL parody that used the person’s exact words.
- “John McCain has already tapped me” … “In that position” … [I have] “a lot of flexibility in that position”" - Sarah Palin in the televised vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008 – take that, Cindy!
- “Golly-gee!” - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008
- “Goshdarnnit!” - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008
- “Doggarnnit!” - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008
- “Ubetcha!” - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008
- “I’m not going to answer the questions…” - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008
- “Those are some backassward ways of fixing the economy.” - Interview with Barbara Walters, November 17, 2009, on Barack Obama’s economic strategies.
- “General McClellan did not say definitively the surge principles would not work in Afghanistan.” - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008. (It is unclear why Palin was anxious to heed the advice of General McClellan particularly after he spectacularly botched the Peninsular Campaign, though it is possible that Palin meant to say General McKiernan)
- “I can give you examples of things that John McCain has done, that has shown his foresight, his pragmatism, and his leadership abilities. And that is what America needs today.” -Palin ”I’m just going to ask you one more time – not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation?” - Couric ”I’ll try to find you some and I’ll bring them to ya!” - From an interview broadcast in late September 2008.
- “As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where – where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border.” -
- “He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.” - On Paul Revere’s ride
About Sarah Palin
- “This is what the Republican Party has done to us this year: it has placed within reach of the Oval Office a woman who is a religious fanatic and a proud, boastful ignoramus.” -Christopher Hitchens
- “Elitism in this sense is not about educational or class credentials, not about where you went to school or whether you use “summer” as a verb. It is, rather, about the pursuit of excellence no matter where you started out in life. Jackson, Lincoln, Truman, Eisenhower, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan and Clinton were born to ordinary families, but they spent their lives doing extraordinary things, demonstrating an interest in, and a curiosity about, the world around them. This is much less evident in Palin’s case.” - Jon Meacham,Newsweek, The Palin Problem
- “I used to think Michael Palin was the funniest Palin on Earth.” - John Cleese
- “Caribou Barbie is one nutty puppy.” - Maureen Dowd, New York Times, Now Sarah’s Folly
- “What looked like a secret wedding turned out to be a public unraveling as the G.O.P. implosion continued: Sarah wanted everyone to know that she’s not having fun and people are being mean to her and she doesn’t feel like finishing her first term as governor.” - Maureen Dowd, New York Times, Now Sarah’s Folly
- “During the presidential campaign, Palin’s deep ignorance about most aspects of foreign and domestic policy provided her with a powerful political reason not to submit to interviews.”- Todd S. Purdum, Vanity Fair, It Came from Wasilla
- “…George W. Bush and Sarah Palin. They are both semiliterate at best. They both exude self-confidence. And they both claim a direct relationship with God…She is a very, very dangerous person.” - Harold Bloom, Vice Magazine, Interview
- On October 5, she began whining about Obama’s relationship with his pal, ex-”domestic terrorist” Bill Ayers, who once held strong views against the country and sadly backed those views with violence, but is now an accomplished expert on education and education reform. She neglected to tell the audience that Obama was 8 when Ayers was attacking this country, and that the “palling around” amounted to sitting on a committee together. In making this attack she forgot that she, herself, sleeps each and every night (or thereabouts) with someone who, as late as 2001, believed it was critical for Alaska to secede from the Union.
- On October 6, she began attacks about Mr. Obama’s preacher, the Rev. Wright, and his political stances, while forgetting that she has a rather reckless, opinionated, witch-hunting, anti-Semitic preacher, Rev. Muthee, in her own church in Wasilla, whom she has credited with helping her to win her governor’s post thanks to his laying-on-of-hands and prayers to protect her from “all forms of witchcraft.”
- In September 2008, Sarah Palin was awarded the “Rubber Dodo Award” by the center for Biological Diversity
- On 31 December 2008, Sarah Palin was “awarded” the 2008 Douchebag of the Year award, by YouTube commentator Stephen Bryce’s show “Bored on the Corner”. Her likeness was later used on the 2009 Award.
- She was also co-nominated (with Shona Holmes and Betsy McCaughey) for her role in the “death panel” lie controversy. ”Bored on the Corner — 2009 Douchebag Nominees”. On July 6, 2010, Bryce later used Palin’s likeness and history of marijuana consumption, for the third place finisher in his “Douchebag of the Decade” awards. This particular prize was thus called “The Sarah Palin Peyote Award”.
- (half-) baked Alaskan
- Bible Spice
- Caribou Barbie
- Failin’ Palin
- Mighty and Glorious Messianic Savior of the Holy Order of the Far Right
- MILF McMooseburger
- Moron I’d Like to Forget
- The Moosiah
- Pit bull in lipstick (according to herself)
- Saint Sarah of Wasilla
- Sarah Punchline
- Vampy, as in “Grampy and Vampy”, the 2008 GOP Presidential ticket
- Vote-for-Me Barbie
- Hi anal rasp
- Has anal rip
- Has air plan
- A sharp nail
- Las piranha
- Sharia plan
- Par à la shin
- Alas, φ ran
- Liar! Ah snap!
- Ran as phail
- I has anal PR
- Anal parish
- and so many more….
- Good job they lost: Sarah Palin, Vice President becomes: Is perhaps, devil incarnate
Just say “Sarah Palin” and watch the hilarious reaction.
- Tina Fey’s (uncanny) impersonation of Palin won her an Emmy in 2009.
- Hustler produced a series of adult films titled Who’s Nailin’ Paylin? that featured a character named “Serra Paylin”.